How do you know if your partner is right for you? A long-lasting relationship is a good thing of and by itself. But having a healthy relationship is an entirely different matter altogether. Even couples need to reflect and ask themselves whether or not their relationships nurture one another.
There are things in life which are unavoidable. Obligations towards work or school are ever present. And there are needs that all individuals must satisfy outside of the relationship, such as the necessity of having a supportive network of friends, the need for fulfillment and success, the desire to be principled and moral human beings and the constant longing for peace of mind.
People in a relationship should therefore acknowledge the existence of such responsibilities and needs, and allow each other the opportunity to fulfill them. A supportive partner will even encourage you to carry them out and will not be the cause for your absences, your low grades or your poor performance at work.
Partners should give each other the space both require in order to be with accepting and trustworthy friends. An understanding partner realizes this necessity and will not prevent you from being in their company.
In view of the desire to be good, you should strive to be each other’s role model, thereby moving one another to do what is right. A decent partner helps you see the ethical choice in each decision you need to make, and will not be the one to push you to lie, cheat or steal.
To satisfy the need for self worth, you ought to be each other’s inspiration in achieving professional growth. An encouraging partner motivates you to accomplish your dreams and will not pull you down or envy you once you have succeeded.
In order to possess peace of mind, you should both be each other’s source of serenity. A stable partner offers strength and a positive outlook and does not become the reason for your confusion and doubt. Your partner should not be the cause of so much anger in you that it makes you scream with violent rage.
Couples are sometimes blinded by feelings, seeing only what they wish to see, ignoring the harmful and destructive aspects of their relationships. Some are driven to stay together merely because they do not wish to break the momentum. Or perhaps they have simply gotten used to each other and regard change as unthinkable. If you are in a relationship, the best way to know if it is healthy is to answer a very simple question. Does your partner bring out the best or the worst in you?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Frederick Fabella, PhD is a graduate and undergraduate professor in the Philippines. He is an editorial board member of the IRP international research journal and a Fellow of the Royal Institution Singapore. He is also an author of various books and studies. His blog can be found at Meanings and Perceptions.