If you’re a fan of How I Met Your Mother, you’ll know the game they used to play called Drunk or Kid, where they would tell their friends one of the weirdest things they’ve ever done in their life while their friends figure out if they did it while they were drunk or while they were kids. Well, they have the right idea of it because kids are basically just small drunk adults doing and saying some crazy stuff! All kids, especially during their school age, would just say things that’ll make you go “What the heck?!” And yet, with all their crazy nonsense and ridiculous shenanigans, these things just seem normal for kids somehow. No matter how many parenting tips we give on toddlers, they’re still gonna get themselves in trouble and do crazy stuff because they’re kids and that’s what they do! Here, in this article, are stories on some of the darndest things kids have said and done.
The Only Winner
When my granddaughter was 5, I took her to a Christmas party held by the company I was working for at the time with all the other employees. During that time, we held a dancing contest for all the kids of the employees. My grand daughter, being the little performer she is, joined and wowed everyone with her performance and eventually won the contest. In the end, however, everyone got a prize for participating. My granddaughter threw a hissy fit and went to the judges table and said, “I thought this was a contest?!” I dunno if I should be amused or embarrassed!
While hanging out with my 4 year old daughter, I accidentally sneezed without covering my mouth. My daughter heard it, looked at me with disgust and scolded me saying, “You should always cover your mouth when you sneeze mommy! Now your germs are all over my hair and I need to take a shower!” What surprised me isn’t the fact that my 4 year old shouted at me, it’s the fact she actually knows about the basic principles of germs!
1 Going On 60
It was just me and my 1 year old nephew in my bedroom, he was playing with his toys while I was doing homework and listening to music. While my playlist was on shuffle, the song “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire played. My nephew immediately stopped what he was doing and looked at me then smiled. He suddenly got up and started dancing! Now, every time I’d play that song, he’d stop dead on his tracks and then dance! Who knew my little nephew was such an old soul with groovy moves.
The Little Pervert
When my younger cousin was 4 years old, he and my brother were on the computer, exploring the internet. I suddenly overheard him say, “Hey let’s go to google and search for boobs!” I don’t know where he got that but it still cracks me up to this day! A parenting tip for those with toddlers, try filtering out what you say around them because they do remember and will repeat it… in public… with people laughing at them!
When my daughter was 4 years old, we brought her to Muir Woods National Monument at San Francisco with the rest of the family. Before leaving, the family decided to browse through the souvenir shop but opted not to buy anything. While having dinner at home, we noticed that she was playing with a small magnifying glass that I don’t recall buying for her. When I asked her where she got that she just said, “In the place with lots of trees!” However, no matter how amusing this story is, a great tip for preschool aged kids is to tell them that it’s wrong to take what is not theirs.
My, then, 3 year old sister would always dance for us during dinner. The catch was, there was never any music playing during dinner. She’d always do this every dinner time. I dunno where she imagined the music coming from or why she’d do this but we still tease her about it to this day!
The “Ugly” Girls
My twin sister and I grew up in the Philippines and we had a skewed view of pretty before. We would associate it with being pretentious and high maintenance so when we were around 5 years old and our parents, grandparents, and uncles would call as pretty, we’d get mad at them so much! We’d end up shouting, “Hindi kami maganda! Panget kami! Panget! Di kami maarte!” [translation: We’re not pretty! We’re ugly! Ugly! We are not high maintenance!”]. I can’t imagine shouting that now though, neither can my sister!
The Lice Princess
When my youngest daughter was 6, she contracted head lice but we had to go out of town because I needed to go to my yearly medical convention, so I didn’t get the chance to buy her shampoo yet. While we were going around all the pharmaceutical booths, we got to a booth that sold head lice shampoo. She suddenly grabbed my sleeves and said in a loud voice (in front of all my doctor colleagues), “Dad! Let’s get some for my head lice!”. A parenting strategy I could give based on this situation is to just roll with it. Kids get lice, no biggie. But the best parenting tip would be to tell your kids not to shout in public, especially if it’s about certain (embarrassing) medical conditions.
That’s it for some of the funny stories we’ve collected from our friends and family through the years. If you have a toddler, a parenting tip would be to note down or film some of their funniest moments so that when they grow older you can watch it together and laugh your butts off, or you can post it online and have it go viral… your choice.
About the author
Katya Bowd is a digital marketing enthusiast and a mother of 2. Currently a working mom. She’s working to develop her online business selling mum planners and online baby books in australia and also managing the site http://logodelish.com