I’m going to be real honest here; marriage ain’t easy, no matter how much love you have for each other, life throws you some curves at you and have no idea what to do at the time. With a little research, lots of patience and a bit of understanding on how each other feel, you will overcome the greatest challenge that most people will easily back down on the first sign of trouble.
Get passed those first 6 years, get passed the issues with family, work & money and all you have left is keeping each other great company and staying alive, travel and if you choose to, take care of another life. So how do you go through all of the crap without quitting you ask? Well, I already gave you the answer above (a little research, much patience and a bit more understanding of each others needs and feelings). Let me go into detail about this.
The research I did started out online; there’s always someone else that went through what you’re going through and actually wrote about it or asked around. You read up on these similar situations like yours and there’s no denying that it actually makes you feel a bit better that you’re not alone. Talking to friends helps as well, interacting and bouncing off ideas with other married men, even your dad or grandpa can heal and assist on eliminating the idea of the big “D” word.
When it comes to living with another person, it will require lots of patience. One great way to gain patience is by giving each other space. This helps with thinking of both sides of the situation and coming back with a more cool head towards the problem in hopes to find a solution. This is probably the hardest part because taking break from any argument isn’t welcomed by at least one of the two in the bout. Figuring out when to take a break and shut the door for a bit, is quite a challenge but agreeing on this before any argument could actually help when the time comes. Think of it like a contract like the ones Dr. Sheldon Cooper is famous for.
Understating your other half doesn’t come easy either, I know first hand the this takes years to get at least a decent understanding but there really is no end as people evolve, situations change and life, it just happens. If you feel like you’re failing at this part, there’s always a referee to hire for this portion. Including a professional that can bring in questions and some uncomfortable conversations are definitely a great way to smoothen things out on the court. My wife and I were able to test this out considering it was a service included through one of our employers at that time and so we took a few sessions which got us to learn how we each think and expect things. Empathizing is one of the feelings that can make a huge difference on any hard situation.
So there you have it gentlemen, these are my two cents on marriage. I’ve been married since 2009 and although we have plenty to deal with in the future, I think we’ve covered some ground on the basics but the past and the errors we all unwillingly commit are all part of our lifelong lessons.
Good luck guys, and if you have any questions or comments, feel free to comment below.